The letter I wrote to the girl I love.

Dear Hayleigh,

I’m not sure you’ll ever see this or if I will even send this. I’ve not been feeling that great lately and have had a lot on my mind. But I have spent alot of my time thinking about you, well all of my time honestly. Contemplating just moving out there to be with you all the way down to the simple fact that when I look into your blue eyes I lose all hope of being able to hold my feelings for you back. I wish I could just call you and say this all to you but when I do you don’t answer and I’m honestly afraid that you would and I’d have to say how torn up my heart is that we aren’t talking. I remember how much of a rock you were to me when I was going through something and all the nights we spent up talking about our biggest fears and desires and how all we wanted was to be loved like no one ever had.. those moments I started to fall for you. Three years ago, it’s hard to believe for that long I’ve had feelings for you. It’s harder to believe that in all that time the girl I wanted that kind of love and that I just wanted to be with was with another guy. But in all that time I never wanted you hurt and always wanted to see you happy even if it meant for me to not be. I know the reason you probably aren’t talking to me is your busy, or you are talking to another guy and it would be too hard to say it to me.. I wish you would, I know you don’t want to love someone 1500 miles away. It’s not how I would have envisioned falling in love. But I did.. and every time we talked I fell a little deeper, and just the thoughts of you intoxicated my dreams and your voice danced through my heart. Even not talking to you I find myself going back to all the messages you left me listening to them and listening to that voicemail you left me the day you were afraid cause of the tornadoes. You are permanently imprinted into my soul, and I hope that you feel the same way. I just long for a night when I fall asleep and you are there talking to me till you can only say I love you with whispered tones. If you ever do read this hayleigh I want you to know even if you think or feel like I’m not there or thinking of you I really am. I pray for you every night and not a day goes by that I don’t carry you in my thoughts. You have gone from being a stranger, to an acquaintance, to a friend, to a best friend, and now to the girl that in all my being has consumed my heart and has made it impossible to even venture to think of anything without her. I love you hayleigh, I really hope you get this and you read it all.

With all the love my heart can contain.
-Yours unendingly 
Jay

I have no friends. :(

Just Tumblr.

I just want her to miss me.

:(