Aequus Animus
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Worthless. Help?
Okay so I’m gonna give you a little background to this story. I have been friends with this girl for three years, well best friends. Last year she told me she had feelings for me but she was dating someone so we decided it be best to not talk cause we didn’t want to ruin her relationship boyfriend at the time. He was abusive and cheated on her by the way. So we stayed distant friends and then she broke up with him and we got real close again. She lives 1700 miles away though. She said she couldnt handle a long distance relationship and not being able to see me. Well finally things changed and me and her got close and she said she was in love with me. So i planned a trip to see her. Then her friend died and she got sucked back into her old lifestyle and barely talked to me. I still decided I was going to go see her. So I drove 1700 miles to see her. When I got there the first day was great we stayed up till 3 AM talking and just every little thing made us smile. Then the rest of the week she pulled away. She would be on her phone the entire time and would barely say a word to me. Then the last night I was there she went out and partied and didn’t tell me where she was so I spent all morning looking for her in a place I don’t know. When I finally found her she was at some friends house and the first person I see is her ex and she is on the couch under some covers. I didn’t even know what to do. I just went and sat down and looked at her and tried to get her to come with me so i could say goodbye before I left. She didn’t want to though so I tried to hug her and say goodbye and that I was sorry for whatever. She didn’t hear any of it. So i started driving away, I was about a hour and I got a call asking me to come back. So I did.. she said she was sorry and didn’t realize I was actually going. I changed it so I could spend one last night with her. It was a good night but hard to say goodbye. So I left to go visit some friends and almost died twice.. i told her about it but she didn’t seem to care. I decided I would stop on my way back through to see her one last time before I headed back east. I got a hotel and text her and waited… She didn’t answer till 12 and when we finally were together she spent all night texting some guy. I felt like crap. I wanted to hold her, kiss her but she couldn’t even let go of the phone. The next morning we got breakfast and we took a picture together. It was perfect she put it on facebook and everything else and said I love you. Then I said goodbye, hugged her for like 10 minutes.. i wanted to kiss her but I knew it wouldn’t be right. So i left on my trip home. Driving 23 hours really makes you think. All I thought about was her and then the idea that she would ditch me for her ex after I drove so far killed me. The fact she found it easy to talk to every guy while I was there instead of just putting them on hold till I left made me feel worthless. Then the picture, after about a hour she deleted it.. like it never mattered. The only real thing to hold onto of the time we spent together and she got rid of it. I felt like driving my car off a cliff on my way home.
I’m honestly depressed.
I want to die.
I need to die.
I sacrificed so much for her and she couldn’t even give me a week.
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Smile for me love.
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25 DEEP ASS Questions.
- 1. What is more difficult for you, looking into someones eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someones eyes when they are telling you how they feel?
- 2. Think of the last time you were REALLY angry. WHY were you angry? Do you still feel the same way?
- 3. You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago non-stop. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You have enough time to make ONE phone call. Who do you call? What do you tell them?
- 4. You are at the doctor’s office and he has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid?
- 5. You can have one of the following two things. Which do you choose? Why? Love and Trust.
- 6. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late even once more, you are fired. Do you take the time to save the dogs life? Why or Why not?
- 7. Would you rather be hurt by the one you trust the most or the one you love the most?
- 8. Your best friend confesses that he/she has feelings for you more than just friendship. He/she is falling in love with you. What do you (or did you) do/say?
- 9. Think of the last person who you know that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give up one year of yours. Do you do it? Why or Why not?
- 10. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend?
- 11. Does love = sex?
- 12.Your boss tells your coworker that they have to let them go because of work shortage, and they are the newest employee. You have been there much longer. Your coworker has a family to support and no other means of income. Do you go to your boss and offer to leave the company? Why or Why not?
- 13.When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt regardless of how difficult it was for you to say? Who was it? What did you have to tell the person?
- 14. What would be (or what was) harder for you to tell a member of the opposite/same sex, you love them or that you do not love them back?
- 15. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose?
- 16. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them. Who were they to you?
- 17. If there was one moment and one time in the last month what would you change and why?
- 18. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying? Why or Why not?
- 19.You are holding onto your grandmother’s hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other. Who do you let fall to their death? What was your rationale for making the decision?
- 20. Are you old fashioned?
- 21. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it?
- 22.Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a broken heart, or never loved at all? Why?
- 23.If you could do anything or wish anything, what would it be?
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Cross country.
Just finished uploading a lot of my cross country scenery shoot. Let me know what everyone thinks!:)
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